Sometimes, a kind and loving God gives us what we most want,
but most of the time, he gives us what we most need. I know we have all had
situations in our lives that we struggle to understand. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we know there is a reason why God
allows suffering and pain amongst his children who he loves as we love our own
children. When Joseph Smith was
suffering greatly from being unjustly imprisoned in Carthage Jail, he cried
unto the heavens for relief and was told by his loving God and father that
“If thou art called to pass through
tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; perils among robbers;
perils by land and sea; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the billowing
surge conspire against thee, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth
wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all
these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good.”D&C122
That’s a hard
pill to swallow sometimes. It’s not even a pill that takes away pain or
suffering. It’s the bitter pill of enduring to the end and remaining faithful amidst
great trials in whatever form they come. For some
it is the loss of child. For others it is the loss of a spouse due to death or divorce. The pill comes in the form of disappointments,
loneliness, fear, poor health, sin, and a myriad of other forms. The healing power for the
bitter pill is the balm of Gilead, given willingly and selflessly to us by a
loving Savior who suffered so he might know how to succor us.
On my way to
pick up Ethan this morning, I was praying as I drove in my car; sharing my needs,
wants, desires, and fears with my Father in Heaven. As soon as I ended my
prayer I turned on the radio and it was playing “Be Still Thy Soul.” My Heavenly
Father knows what that song means to me. It was one I sung over and over in my
head during the first couple years after my divorce when I would lay in bed at
night, feeling so utterly alone, not feeling comforted or at peace. I clung to those words in the dark night, trying to have faith that one day the joy and peace promised would be mine again.
This is not
the first time this has happened with this particular song. I hear it often on the radio
on Sundays, but there has been another time, when this daughter sent up the
same kind of heartfelt prayer and heard this song immediately afterward. I’m
not sure that everyone else was hearing the same song I was this morning, but I
know it was a gift to me. In his wisdom, and I try so hard to trust in this, he
withholds and gives, according to my faith and his plan for me. I do not always
get what I want, but today my Father gave me what I needed to feel his love for
me and to remind this daughter that my prayers are heard and that they indeed
do matter.
~Kristin
~Kristin
